'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
