Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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