That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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