I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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