My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
