I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I skipped work to stalk him.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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