I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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