You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
