i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
