You just made me feel so damn special
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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