google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
