1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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