I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
