the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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