Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
