the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
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