No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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