gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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