you have to choose: penises or morals?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
