So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
