I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
