his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
