why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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