Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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