I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
