He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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