If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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