Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I've blown a few things in my day
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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