I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
