I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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