I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Let's paint friendship bongs
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
