Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
