Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
