come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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