How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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