Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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