I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
