Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
