Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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