i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
