pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
There's a naked man in my car right now.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
