Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
My breasts were aching with rage.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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