laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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