I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
