i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
