SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
