i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
