we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
