bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Randomize
