is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
