Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
