I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
