We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
