I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
